Monday, March 24, 2014

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Hello, Hello, Reader! Or maybe by now you're my Non-Reader, and I'm only typing for my own amusement, which is generally the case anyway, so no diffs. 

I'm only here because I'm procrastinating going to the gym, and I've run my usual gamut by now - must eat first, now must digest, but only for 20 minutes then I'm gonna hop right up and hit it, which turns into it's so comfy, I deserve a short nap, and then I might as well catch up on a show I never get the chance to watch, which brings us right here, to 9:00 p.m. and I have a small niggling thought in the back of my brain that thinks I'm really going to get up, put on my gym clothes and drive my ass to the gym. Right after I'm done here. 

That is really going to happen, never, Reader. 

We both know that. 

It's this, then Hammer Time, which in my world equals Jammie Time. I'm gonna hammer my fat ass right into my jammies. Good job, Me, I really know how to come up with absolutely any excuse at all not to work out.

But that begs the question, Reader: If working out was so gol'darn good for you, why wouldn't our bodies crave it, the way a thirsty man crawling across the desert craves a cool glass of water or someone being smothered by a pillow over their face craves air?? 

Because it's not that good for you, that's why. It's just a bunch of working-out propaganda that's spewed by the tennis shoe industry to get you to think it's good for you. 

Well, I'm not falling for it, Sir! If a body was supposed to run in place and bike to nowhere, we would thirst for it! Or gasp for it!  I'm not thirsty or gaspy.  My body is instead craving the pillowy softness of my bed. I don't even have to barter with myself to get in it. 

So anyway. I've just realized that typing up, "it's 9:00 (p.m.)" and "going to the gym" are two of the dumbest things that could go together. Ever. Because 9:00 is bed time. Said the old woman who collected cats.

3 comments:

Violet said...

Thank you for the validation. It is 9:21 a.m. and I am on my way to the gym. After I finish the protein shake I need to give me the energy to complete my workout. And since it takes a few minutes to drink the shake, I am watching an episode of Friends I've only seen 17,000 times before - I can't leave before it's over! And I completely agree about the body craving workouts if they are so good for us. You're my hero.

Cassi Renee said...

Are there people who actually do things after 9 p.m.? Much less go to the GYM after 9 p.m.? Huh. Not me. I need my beauty sleep :-)

Trixie Bang Bang said...

Hello Readers! Thanks for stopping by and validating my lazy-assedness :) I spent countless hours thinking about it while watching reruns, and then just went to bed, mostly by 10:00, and my co-workers told me how cute my hair looked several times this week, so there must be something to that whole "beauty sleep" thing!